Cant Believe Its Come To This

Unbelievable sitting here on the eve of game number 1hundredandfucking62 Red Sox fans stil have a regular season MUST win and any discussions of playoffs has a big fat IF. On name value alone you have to feel good with Lester pitching tommorrow, but with the way this month has gone to quote Kevin Garnett "Anythings Possibleeeee." Lester has never lost to the Orioles, but then again you could argue a W for the O's tommorrow and it validates there season. Biggest game for the Orioles since Cal Ripken Jr. suited up. Even IF (theres that word again) the Sox do pull it off I'm almost positive the Yankees dont do us any favors and the Rays pull it out too. I would say im about 95% sure there will be a play in game Thursday. So is you work on Thursday, Id start planting the idea to your boss that your getting sick tommorrow. Maybe a little fake cough, sneezing all over your desk, hell  make some disturbing noises from the bathroom whatever you gotta do. That being said I think Lackey pitches the best game in a Sox uniform in by far his biggest oppurtunity. It wont be pretty but he will hold down the hatches enough to let the offense do its thing and send us limping into the playoffs.

PS: I think Green Day wrote this song years ahead of schedule and it was written for the 2011 Red Sox and their fans.

Hey Winklevoss Twins... How Do Those Nuts Taste?

This new ad for pistachios starring the poor Winklevoss Twins is so pathetic. Wah we came up with an idea but werent smart enough to do it ourselves. Poor us we only got 64 million and Zuckerberg tricked us. We are only so good at rowing because we jerk eachother off everyday.  Even the Dean at Harvard couldnt stand these guys.Love that in an average month for Zuckerberg they unveil a new Facebook layout. Meanwhile this nut commercial is a career building move for the Twinkletoe twins. Hopefully the people at Wonderful Pistachios didnt lie about the value of the company or the big bad twins will hit #1 on their speed dial and get their lawyers on the phone.

Self Checkouts Prove How Stupid People Are

MANCHESTER, Conn. (AP) -- When Keith Wearne goes grocery shopping, checking out with a cashier is worth the few extra moments, rather than risking that a self-serve machine might go awry and delay him even more.
Most shoppers side with Wearne, studies show. And with that in mind, some grocery store chains nationwide are bagging the do-it-yourself option, once considered the wave of the future, in the name of customer service.
"It's just more interactive," Wearne said during a recent shopping trip at Manchester's Big Y Foods. "You get someone who says hello; you get a person to talk to if there's a problem."
Big Y Foods, which has 61 locations in Connecticut and Massachusetts, recently became one of the latest to announce it was phasing out the self-serve lanes. Some other regional chains and major players, including some Albertsons locations, have also reduced their unstaffed lanes and added more clerks to traditional lanes.
Market studies cited by the Arlington, Va.-based Food Marketing Institute found only 16 percent of supermarket transactions in 2010 were done at self-checkout lanes in stores that provided the option. That's down from a high of 22 percent three years ago.
Overall, people reported being much more satisfied with their supermarket experience when they used traditional cashier-staffed lanes.
Supermarket chains started introducing self-serve lanes about 10 years ago, touting them as an easy way for shoppers to scan their own items' bar codes, pay, bag their bounty and head out on their way. Retailers also anticipated a labor savings, potentially reducing the number of cashier shifts as they encouraged shoppers to do it themselves.
The reality, though, was mixed. Some shoppers loved them and were quick converts, while other reactions ranged from disinterest to outright hatred -- much of it shared on blogs or in Facebook groups.
An internal study by Big Y found delays in its self-service lines caused by customer confusion over coupons, payments and other problems; intentional and accidental theft, including misidentifying produce and baked goods as less-expensive varieties; and other problems that helped guide its decision to bag the self-serve lanes.

Singing "Happy Birthday" in Public is Against The Law

Cracked - If you ever had a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese's, you probably have endless fond memories: the cardboard pizza, the shitty, half-broken arcade games and soda served in the tiniest paper thimbles ever created. OK, maybe it kind of sucked in retrospect. But it could have been worse. For example, your parents could get a subpoena to appear in court for being part of a public performance of "Happy Birthday to You," which as it turns out is totally illegal.
It's copyrighted. Usually that would only affect people who are singing it while attempting to make a profit (the lady your dad hired to jump out of your birthday cake, for instance). However, the American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers (ASCAP) requested that the Girl Scouts pay royalties for "Happy Birthday to You," and other songs they'd been singing around the campfire without a single stripper, or paying customer in attendance.
Presumably thinking that this was a prank by the girls from the camp across the lake, the Girl Scouts consulted an attorney who found that the law applied to any "public performance." Going by the strict letter of the law, you have to pay anytime you sing the song "where a substantial number of persons outside of a normal circle of a family and its social acquaintances is gathered."
The first version of the popular birthday song, titled "Good Morning to All," was composed way back in 1868 by sisters Mildred and Patty Hill, before the Summy Company copyrighted it in 1935, together with the now-famous lyrics. Today, that copyright belongs to Time Warner, meaning that any restaurant or movie that wants to use the song where everyone can hear it must pay the company royalties.
You can still sing it legally in the privacy of your own home, and you will probably get away with singing it out in the open, provided that you're not on a reality TV show. Of course, if you're anything like most small business owners, you'll just pay up because you don't want to face Time Warner in court. Enough of them pay royalties that the song garners a cool $2 million dollars a year in royalties.
Or if you want to be extra safe, you can do what many restaurant chains do and just invent your own special version of the lyrics, assuming you don't mind looking and sounding like a stupid asshole.

Its So Beautiful

No Words Needed.

I Want Mark Buehrle on The Red Sox... And I Want It Immediately

CHICAGO -- Mark Buehrle makes his 31st and final start of the 2011 season on Tuesday night at U.S. Cellular Field, needing 1 2/3 innings to reach at least 200 innings pitched, at least 30 starts made and double-digit wins for the 11th straight season.
It's the longest such active streak in the Majors. But if that Buehrle streak continues on in 2012 and beyond, it might not be with the White Sox. Buehrle will be experiencing free agency for the first time, as his four-year, $56-million deal comes to a close, and isn't sure what to expect.

Man Steals Beer With Inhaler

CLOVER, SC - A California man is facing charges after police say he used an inhaler to steal beer from two men before using his head to break the windshield of a police cruiser.
According to a Clover Police report, officers were called to a Kangaroo Express early Tuesday morning to the report of an armed robbery. Officers spoke to two men who said they were walking along the sidewalk after buying beer and were approached by a man who pointed what appeared to be a silver pistol at them and demanded their beer. The report indicates that the armed man threatened to kill them if they didn't hand over the alcohol. The man, later identified as 23-year-old Ashton Graham of California, then ran away from the scene with a case of Keystone Ice and a case of Budweiser beer. Officers called the York County Sheriff's Office to ask for assistance from the department's K-9 unit to track Graham. Investigators followed a trail of beer cans and empty cartons as the K-9 unit tracked Graham. 911 dispatchers notified officers that employees from a nearby business had called and said that a male covered in blood was on their property and "acting very strange." Employees told officers that the man was "very intoxicated and told them that he had been assaulted by three black males," the Clover Police report states. When employees told Graham they were calling police, he reportedly "got up off the sidewalk, fell down and dropped a Budweiser beer out of his pocket and got back up." That's when ran out into the field behind the company, employees told police. K-9 units were able to track Graham to the woods behind the building and he was placed into custody. Police say when he was being led to the patrol car, he became extremely agitated and very combative with officers. According to the York County Sheriff's report, Graham stared at deputies and screamed "What the [expletive] are you looking at?" Graham reportedly continued to swear at the deputies as they patted him down to check for weapons. A deputy located what appeared to be a cap to an asthma inhaler in Graham's pocket. When the deputy asked Graham if he had an inhaler and he replied, "Yes, I have fucking asthma."
Graham then allegedly reared his head backwards and slammed it into the patrol car's back windshield, shattering the window.