I Want Mark Buehrle on The Red Sox... And I Want It Immediately

CHICAGO -- Mark Buehrle makes his 31st and final start of the 2011 season on Tuesday night at U.S. Cellular Field, needing 1 2/3 innings to reach at least 200 innings pitched, at least 30 starts made and double-digit wins for the 11th straight season.
It's the longest such active streak in the Majors. But if that Buehrle streak continues on in 2012 and beyond, it might not be with the White Sox. Buehrle will be experiencing free agency for the first time, as his four-year, $56-million deal comes to a close, and isn't sure what to expect.

Man Steals Beer With Inhaler

CLOVER, SC - A California man is facing charges after police say he used an inhaler to steal beer from two men before using his head to break the windshield of a police cruiser.
According to a Clover Police report, officers were called to a Kangaroo Express early Tuesday morning to the report of an armed robbery. Officers spoke to two men who said they were walking along the sidewalk after buying beer and were approached by a man who pointed what appeared to be a silver pistol at them and demanded their beer. The report indicates that the armed man threatened to kill them if they didn't hand over the alcohol. The man, later identified as 23-year-old Ashton Graham of California, then ran away from the scene with a case of Keystone Ice and a case of Budweiser beer. Officers called the York County Sheriff's Office to ask for assistance from the department's K-9 unit to track Graham. Investigators followed a trail of beer cans and empty cartons as the K-9 unit tracked Graham. 911 dispatchers notified officers that employees from a nearby business had called and said that a male covered in blood was on their property and "acting very strange." Employees told officers that the man was "very intoxicated and told them that he had been assaulted by three black males," the Clover Police report states. When employees told Graham they were calling police, he reportedly "got up off the sidewalk, fell down and dropped a Budweiser beer out of his pocket and got back up." That's when ran out into the field behind the company, employees told police. K-9 units were able to track Graham to the woods behind the building and he was placed into custody. Police say when he was being led to the patrol car, he became extremely agitated and very combative with officers. According to the York County Sheriff's report, Graham stared at deputies and screamed "What the [expletive] are you looking at?" Graham reportedly continued to swear at the deputies as they patted him down to check for weapons. A deputy located what appeared to be a cap to an asthma inhaler in Graham's pocket. When the deputy asked Graham if he had an inhaler and he replied, "Yes, I have fucking asthma."
Graham then allegedly reared his head backwards and slammed it into the patrol car's back windshield, shattering the window.

Science Proves Kids Like Sugar... Really?

NPR - Ask a child if they like sweets and the answer is almost universally a resounding "Yes!" It's no surprise to most parents that kids love candy, cookies, sweetened drinks, and some kids have even been known to add sugar to a bowl of Frosted Flakes. But don't blame the kids, say researchers: It's biology.

Scientific evidence shows that children not only have a stronger preference for sugar than adults – but that sweet-tooth is hardwired from Day One.

"We know that the newborn can detect sweet and will actually prefer sweeter solutions to less sweet ones. The basic biology of the child is that they don't have to learn to like sweet or salt. It's there from before birth," explains Julie Mennella of the Monell Chemical Senses Center.

Unlike adults, who often find overly sugary things unpleasant, Mennella says kids are actually living in different sensory worlds than adults when it comes to basic tastes.

"They prefer much more intense sweetness and saltiness than the adult, and it doesn't decrease until late adolescence. And we have some evidence they may be more sensitive to bitter taste," Mennella says.

A reason for this may be that a preference for sweet, caloric substances during rapid growth may have given children as an evolutionary advantage when calories were scarce. That notion is supported by the fact that sugar doesn't just taste good to children -– it actually makes them feel good, too.

Man Dies In A Van Down By The River

 

STURTEVANT - A person has been pronounced dead after they were discovered outside a van that was found partially in water in Sturtevant on Monday morning.

A Racine County Sheriff's dispatcher told Newsradio 620 WTMJ that the body and vehicle were found just off a frontage road near the corner of Highway C and Highway 20 in Sturtevant at about 6:20 a.m. Monday morning.

TODAY'S TMJ4's Diane Pathieu reports that the driver drove from Dousman to Racine County. The man was going down the frontage road went through a road closed sign and into a ditch full of water in a large construction area. According to Pathieu, his van was then submerged, then he got out of the van, had a heart attack and died. He reportedly was in the early stages of Alzheimer's disease. Deputies don't know how long the man may have been in the flooded area, but the road was clearly marked and blocked with barricades.

Hollister Has A Line of "Skinny" Sweatpants

I never understood skinny jeans. I need my pants a little baggy, let the boys breathe, make sure blood is flowing ya know. Now I see Hollister is selling “Skinny” sweats. This has to be in response to Biebs saying he rocks chicks jeans on the reg. Hollister is probably thinking “That Justin Bieber likes crushing his sack by wearing his girlfriends jeans that she outgrew… maybe guys like girls clothes?” And not every guy has the swag of Bieber to just say “Yeah I wear girls clothes, so what.” and stil get laid, so lets come up with a guys line of girls clothes for guys. So guys if you want suffocate your balls while your catching some sleep and you dont wana wear your girls Victoria Secret Pink sweats rock the Hollister Co. Skinny sweats… Skinny Fit All The Way Down…(On other dudes)

ICEBERG... Oh Its Just The Sox

Ok Ive remained pretty calm this September as the Red Sox decided to sail through the last few weeks and get ready for October. While the members of the media and other fans put on their life belts and head for the lifeboats, I ordered another drink and put on my freshest outfit. Well my feet are getting wet and all the boats are almost dropped and out of here. The Sox are sinking and sinking fast. I Think the Sox could use Kate Winslet at this point (You see that swing with the axe to save Jack?) It was always part of the misery of "The Curse" that Fenway opened when the Titanic sank, well in the spirit of the Sox failures E! is taunting us by running Titanic 24/7. The comparisons are endless. The Sox are being chased by the Rays of course, a sea animal. The lights are about to go out and all the other teams and their fans will row their life boats into the playoffs and all that will be left of Red Sox Nation will be thousands of fans frozen and shocked at the devestation that just happened.

Go Crazy Buffalo

What do they put in the water up in Buffalo? I'm going to temporarily ignore the game and deal with a pressing issue. What is with Bills fans? I threw up every time they showed the crowd. I'm worried. Is there some sort of nuclear waste dump infecting people? Everyone looked like they went down Niagra Falls in a barrel and hit every rock on the way down. Can we trade Buffalo to Canada for some hockey pucks? So drink some Labatt Blue enjoy the win and for one night you can feel like a winning, sexy, New Englander.
P.S. I googled Buffalo Bills fan and there were pretty much no results.